Once kids are already in the cruel grips of adolescence, one would think Twilight can’t make things much worse, but you would be sadly mistaken. For future reference, large numbers of people with abnormal levels of hormones being pumped around the body do not go well with large numbers of books on forbidden romance. I was alarmed to find that the line between reality and fiction has become increasingly blurred amongst my peers.
I mean I’m just saying, it may lead girls to believe there is such a thing as a gorgeous boy who will hang on to your every word and use his super-speed to open your car door for you, a boy who will carry you up a tree on his back so you can enjoy the view, and a boy who will sit and play pretty tunes on the piano while you hang on his shoulder, without hoping for sex in return. We would all love to believe in something so beautiful but alas girls, the ‘Perfect Boyfriend’ is just as legendary as the vampire or werewolf. And even though Robert Pattinson may be a real person, not to shatter your dreams or anything, but he’s not really Edward Cullen in real life!
Yes, real life may be a foreign concept to many, where we can’t turn into lycanthropes and hurl ourselves of cliff faces or leap from tree to tree in a superhuman blur – if we get cut we may actually need stitches – our healing capabilities aren’t quite as developed as those of fictitious characters. It may lead boys to believe that such things as eight-packs exist, that a skin tone paler than paper is an attractive quality and adding a copy of Twilight in your bag will get you girls. Again, doesn’t really work so flawlessly in reality. Don’t be fooled.
I mean I’m just saying, it may lead girls to believe there is such a thing as a gorgeous boy who will hang on to your every word and use his super-speed to open your car door for you, a boy who will carry you up a tree on his back so you can enjoy the view, and a boy who will sit and play pretty tunes on the piano while you hang on his shoulder, without hoping for sex in return. We would all love to believe in something so beautiful but alas girls, the ‘Perfect Boyfriend’ is just as legendary as the vampire or werewolf. And even though Robert Pattinson may be a real person, not to shatter your dreams or anything, but he’s not really Edward Cullen in real life!
Yes, real life may be a foreign concept to many, where we can’t turn into lycanthropes and hurl ourselves of cliff faces or leap from tree to tree in a superhuman blur – if we get cut we may actually need stitches – our healing capabilities aren’t quite as developed as those of fictitious characters. It may lead boys to believe that such things as eight-packs exist, that a skin tone paler than paper is an attractive quality and adding a copy of Twilight in your bag will get you girls. Again, doesn’t really work so flawlessly in reality. Don’t be fooled.
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